The Truth About Lies

The other day, I was flipping through the photo stream on my phone looking at all these word/quote images I’ve collected through Pinterest recently.  I was preparing to post this one to my Facebook wall. I was as close as only having to touch the post button when I was like “fuck that, this is so messed up.” I had saved this image because at the time I came across it, it struck a chord in me and I felt in agreement with it. But not now and hopefully not ever again. And I hope you won’t be either.

I recently was faced with the very real possibility that a relationship I cared very much about and had invested a significant amount of time and energy into was based primarily on lies.  And for a not-so split second I thought I might fall apart.  And truth be told (ha!), I kinda did (little bit).  But then I was like “fuck this!”   The way the relationship made me feel at the best of times, the good things that came into my life because of it, shouldn’t be diminished because some asshole doesn’t have the balls to be honest and truthful with himself, me, or anyone probably.  Unlike him, I was all-in.  For  reasons I won’t disclose, I felt safe–completely safe to be totally me: authentic, emotional, crazy, raw, sexy, giving, trusting … all-in!  And I learned so much about myself.  And I won’t let someone else’s lies take that away from me.

When someone lies to you, it has very little to do with you as an individual and has absolutely nothing to do with your worth.  Lies are about the other persons concept of self and worth.  Either they don’t believe they deserve to be authentic and honest themselves or they have an inflated sense of self that allows them to use lies to take what they want and move on.  I think this is true in all relationships — friendships, business, etc.

Here’s what, I know we all tell a little “white” lie from time to time to get out of sticky situations or whatever.  I’m not talking about those kinds of lies.  Although I do believe that these kinds of lies have their own impact on our lives and we all have the ability to rise above them.  I’m mostly referring to the lies that have the greatest impact on someone’s life.  Those that change the way a person may react, that impact the decisions of an individual, that manipulate and twist the truth into something unrecognizable.  I encourage you to not be that kind of person.  And most of all, I want you to believe that when someone else tells you this kind of lie, it is not about you!

Here’s how I’d rewrite this quote: